What Makes You Happy?

When we're really good at something--when our particular skill adds value--what happens? Often, we're asked to do more. We're identified with this talent. People speak highly of us and we're encouraged. Expectations emerge. Yet here's a question that's rarely posed: does this activity make you happy? Even when asked and answered, we often conflate external strokes with our actual enjoyment. The question is not, does it make you happy to make others happy? Or, do you want people to like you? We're humans and our nature is to seek outside approval. The real question is, does this area--in which you're greatly skilled--bring you contentment, on its own? Does it make your heart sing? Does it fill, not deplete?

I've always been good in math and statistics. But in hindsight, these areas did not bring me enjoyment. Skill does not equal happiness. I'm also a natural communicator and a gifted teacher. These areas do bring me joy. Stepping away from academia, I better saw my path: I was really good at all parts of my job, yet it didn't make me happy; it depleted me. Still, there was one piece that consistently fed my soul: connection with students. This I will carry to my next career.

Last night we attended a dance with both Irish and old-time callers. I flashed a genuine smile the entire time. I was happy--giddy, really. Yet I'm not particularly skilled. I understand rhythm and I move to the music, but I'm not technically talented. In this case, happiness does not equal skill. But I'll go to as many dances as I can. 

In our own lives and as friends to others, it's important to ask the question: what makes you happy, on its own? These are the areas to protect and cultivate. That's where we connect to our own unique and beautiful truth.