Still, I feel the tug of social media. I post my photography on Flickr. When I'm intentional, my use of Flickr fills and inspires me; when I'm mindless, my use depletes me. I've stayed away from Facebook because I know myself well: I could get lost in externals. I hold many identities, some of them too tightly. One of these identities is thoughtful-and-caring-friend. In person, this flows naturally. In the stories of my mind or in the online world, this takes a different path: Joy, you must attend to everyone and comment on all posts; if you don't respond, people will think you're unkind; you should check regularly if people still love ("like") you.
These thoughts feel real, but they're not true. Anytime I search externally for validation, the search never ends. This search is a band-aid that covers my uneasiness. The real medicine is looking inward--giving myself the attention and love I seek.
Social media is interesting and fun. Yet it can separate me from what I most value. And there's a fuzzy line in between. For me, there are two rabbit holes: confusing likes, shares, comments, and favorites with my own self-worth; and feeling a strong pull to keep up-to-date, to not miss out. The latter leaves me anxious. The former leaves me hollow.
When wise friends told me I needed a Facebook page for my business, I cringed. But I listened and eventually agreed. Because I always have choices. I come to Facebook in my own way, with my heart and eyes wide open. I needn't publish a personal page. I come to Facebook not as Joy Jordan "this is my daily life, let's catch up" but as Joy Jordan, both a student and teacher of mindfulness; a person trying to be mindful on social media; a person who needs to hear and share this message:
You have permission to just be; to be and breathe.
You have permission to attend to yourself; look inward.
You have permission to disconnect from the online world.
You are so much more than your popularity on social media.
You are unique and beautiful; be you.
You are worthy, as is.
So beautifully put! Thank you for putting into words what my brain couldn't.
ReplyDeleteHi, Sherri! Thanks for your generous compliment. I'm glad my words resonated for you.
DeleteJoy, I so agree with Sherri. You have stated beautifully what I know to be you and your intention for living... and you are modeling a way to be, truly BE in this life: mindfully, heart-connected, true. My own FB choices have been different and I've struggled, re-evaluated, shifted how I am in that on-line world. And I get to shift again!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being YOU, Joy. Our world is better for it.
Jeanne, this comment fills me with love and gratitude. Thanks for being YOU. :) I like your main point: you can shift; you can make changes. Often we mindlessly plug along, yet there are important choices in front of us. Thanks for sharing this message.
DeleteI closed my FB account last summer. I have not missed it for a second. I spend my time on Flickr and Instagram. FB was overwhelming and I felt I could not choose what came to me. As you say guilt of not liking or watching the cute cat clip, politics etc etc. I totally understand it's a very good way for a business. When I will become a therapist I might consider to open a new page. Thank you for writing about this subject. People find me strange for not having FB but I feel a big relief. // <3 Agnes
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's strange, Agnes. Trust that relief--it's a wonderful thing.
DeleteI've fasted from FB time and again to re-balance and re-evaluate. I too have fasted from the news, not completely. It has helped to be more mindful, less mindless. I appreciate how well you echoed what's in the depth of my soul about this subject. FB can be life affirming, if it doesn't become a time a sucking distraction.
ReplyDelete