Daily I work with fear. It's a background hum in my body and thoughts. When I pause and explore this fear, it dissipates. When I ignore the fear, it builds. The stresses of daily life can trigger deep-seated habits in our brains. Although we're not in danger of lion attack, our minds and bodies react as if we are. And this heightened state (if prolonged) damages our health.
There are many practices that dampen this fight-flight-freeze reaction. (Rick Hanson's book Just One Thing presents a lovely list.) One simple practice I find helpful: pause and notice that in this particular moment, I am okay. I'm not in danger. There's no imminent threat. I am safe. This sounds obvious, but the gentle reminder is often what I need to come down a notch; to ease the anxiety.
In the words of Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening), "when feeling urgent, slow down." Slow down, breathe, and notice you're okay in this moment. In fact, little is truly urgent (according to Nepo only when "there is some true physical requirement to act swiftly"). Yet busy schedules, external demands, and continuous communication generate a sense of urgency. It's empowering to realize that's an illusion. (Tasks might be important or timely, but there's always breathing room.) And this aha allows space to rest. To sit down, take three deep breaths, and really notice: in this moment, I am okay.
I read this at 4 AM, Joy. It resonated so much as I sat in the dark and got ready to have my usual insomnia panic of blah blah blah I'll be so tired, blah blah blah menopause is so icky blah blah blah. And I read this and sat and thought. And thought. And had tea. And thought. Thank you. You shifted my view of those early morning hours today. I had a fruitful, dare I say, fun even, time. I let go of the panic.
ReplyDeletepam, i'm glad this connected with you at 4am. and i'm inspired by your re-framing of insomnia, panic, menopause. intellectually, we know fear builds fear, yet it takes openness and letting go to enjoy those early, dark hours. cheers to you, friend!
DeleteBecause I suffer with 2 debilitating anxiety disorders (rooted in fear), this is something I practice (and something I always need reminding of). I'm sitting at the office feeling overwhelmed and then I came here. I feel better now. Happy weekend. xo
ReplyDeletebella, thanks for sharing. indeed, we all need reminding--that's the life experience. i'm glad this gave you a little space to breathe. happy friday to you!
DeleteIn zoology and psychology, we learned that there are four basic responses to perceived danger: fight, flight, freeze, and... let's call it "fornication", although the other "f-word" was more popular back then. ;) It *just* now dawned on me that many of the people I know - including myself - can be categorized by these reactions. My mother is a typical fighter - always with a bad temper or criticism to throw at you. The occasional "bad boy Lotharios" I once dated, with their use of sex to try and escape their fears. The so called "friends" that froze me out - both literally and figuratively - giving me the cold shoulder when they felt threatened by something, rather that discussing it with me. And me... who used to flee *all* the time. I am glad to say I am getting better at breaking my habitual reaction, but it makes me wonder how many people are actually aware that they do this sort of thing...
ReplyDeleteOoops... I forgot feeding too!!! The FIVE Fs. ;)
Deletekate, thanks for stopping by. it's interesting to read your comment. makes me both smile and think. thank you.
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