November 12, 2014

Urgency?


As I write this post, urgency nags me. Not an urgent need to finish my work, but a sense I should be elsewhere; that I should be doing something else, being someone else. This is one way I resist the present moment. While in the act of doing one thing, I feel I should be doing something else. It's also a strong signal: listen inward, what's happening right now?

[I just took a 10-minute break to sit quietly with myself.]

Thoughts rule our world. We construct elaborate stories in our minds. We plan, fantasize, ruminate, judge, and doubt. We're addicted to thinking. And we're trained to believe our thoughts, no matter what. Here's one of my most-believed thoughts: "There is something wrong with me." This thought drives my urgency, my pressing, my wish to be anywhere but the present moment. "There is something wrong with me." A believed thought that is completely untrue. I lost hours working from a false hypothesis. Yet this is what it means to be human: we fall into trance and then we come back. The noticing--the coming back--is a revelation. It's worthy of celebration.

My 10-minute timeout is all I needed. I sat, embodied, with myself. I saw my believed-but-false thought for what it was.  And I came back. The urgency lingers lightly in the background, but I'm myself again. 

What are your most believed thoughts? How do they drive your actions? How do they make you feel? And, most importantly, are they really true? 

5 comments:

  1. I, too can get caught up in my head, allowing thoughts to over-rule what I already know.
    Stillness is the answer to my prayer. A few moments, just like you had, maybe with with deep breaths and repeated mantras.
    Hey Joy! How are you? xo

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    1. yes, "caught up in my head." there's something soothing about sinking into the body, feeling the moment. i'm doing really well, bella. i'm so glad you stopped by.

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  2. My constant thought is "you will not make it, you know and can to little". It affects my whole life. I'm working on it. Thank you for the most valuable thoughts.

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    1. thanks for sharing, agnes. you are brave and beautiful. i wish you could see yourself as i see you: strong, capable, kind, resilient. wouldn't that be nice if we could see ourselves--even for a few moments--through our friends' eyes?

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    2. That is just what my therapist says Joy : ) thank you so much <3 Agnes

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