Some days I want to boldly be me--share my words, feelings, photos, and truths. Other days I want to quietly be me--hide my tender spots and avoid possible judgment. Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening) describes this tension beautifully: "In effect, the cost of being who you are is that you can't possibly meet everyone's expectations, and so, there will, inevitably, be external conflict to deal with--the friction of being visible. Still, the cost of not being who you are is that while you are busy pleasing everyone around you, a precious part of you is dying inside; in this case, there will be internal conflict to deal with--the friction of being invisible."
In the last few years, I've comfortably grown into being who I am--as is. But there are times when I care too much about pleasing others (or receiving external validation). The latter is exhausting and moves me away from authentic motivation. So I balance being visible and being invisible, erring on the side of visibility. Each day I'm more vulnerable (and more courageous); more exposed (and more truly me).
I love this, Joy. I also fear that the "meeting expectations" dilemma has increased since the days of your gramma, even since the days of your childhood. To be authentic today with all the noise, all the external pressures is tough for our youth. Your message needs to be heard.
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